I've been drawing as far back as I can remember. I remember doodling dinosaurs, Ninja Turtles, Disney characters, and Looney Toons. I don't know WHY I started, but I know that it's just something I've always done and always loved. I can't tell you how many pieces of paper I've gone through in my life just drawing anything that was in my head. I was kind of picky too. I remember being at my Grandmother and Grandfather's house, sitting at their large kitchen table with a notebook and a dull pencil, and if I made just one wrong mark, I'd hastily rip the page out and throw it away. I got yelled at quite a bit by my Grandfather for being "wasteful". Truthfully, I was. But I was also a child. I knew my cartoons right away. I absorbed everything. Once I got turned on to something, I had to know everything about the characters, the story, and how it was made. I bored so many relatives going on and on about things like that. Movies like One Hundred and One Dalmatians, Pinocchio, and The Jungle Book hypnotized me when I was a small kid. I am pretty sure I wore out my 101 Dalmatians VHS, same with Pinocchio.
I grew up in what is known as the "Disney Renaissance" period. Films like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and the Lion King were HUGE, and I do mean HUGE. When drawing as a kid in this time, I was always intimidated by Disney. I could never make the characters look "perfect" enough, so I often avoided it the more conscientious I grew of my abilities (or lack thereof) I remember trying to draw Ariel (the Little Mermaid) and Flounder for my cousin Melissa. I wasted an entire notebook because I couldn't get the eyes just right.
As I got older I continued to draw, got more into comic books like Sonic the Hedgehog. Scott Shaw was the artist on the sonic comics and I fell in love with comic book art too. I also found myself revisiting my childhood love, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in comic book form, with Archie Comics' TMNT Adventures.
My whole life, I just drew because I wanted to. I knew I wasn't the best. I may not have been complete shit, but I wasn't anywhere near the best. My family encouraged me. I can't count how many times my Aunt Doris or Uncle Tony watched me draw as a kid and encouraged me to go places with my skill and to work for Disney. I always kind of brushed it off as them being kind, but I kept at it.
In high school I started to get sketch books and fill the pages with superheroes and cartoon characters. I will fully admit, I was still in the habit of ripping pages out that I made mistakes on. ALL of my earliest sketch books have maybe 10 pages in them? Even though my drawings weren't by any means perfect, or even "good" by my standards today, they weren't good enough for me, so out they went. It was in high school that I got my first negative critiques. The time that I took my first high school art class, I was emulating an artist by the name of Ed McGuinness. I was a HUGE fan of his work on Superman, and tried to be as much like him as I could. For some reason I was drawing thick dark lines around my characters that I would draw, I got quite a few scoldings from my teacher about that, but he still encouraged creativity. There was a person in that class, I won't share his name, because a lot of people that I know, know him. He was the first person to flat out tell me I suck. He told me everything I drew looked the same. Keep in mind, I was completely self taught. Nobody taught me how to draw ANYTHING, so of course I didn't have the foundations that I should have had, that would have made my work better. At the time, I wanted to be a comic book artist. My rival, who I'll admit was MILES better than I was at drawing, laughed and told me I should give up. He told me it would never happen for me.
I tried to empower myself and do the whole "Oh yeah? I'll show you!" thing. But inwardly, he was right. I never stopped drawing though. I didn't draw to impress anyone. I didn't draw because I was good, and I didn't stop drawing because I sucked. I drew because it made me feel good. I felt like I could get lost in myself and shut the world out and just draw and create and let my imagination run wild without criticism. I'll stop for a moment to say that I have a very vivid imagination that is almost always processing things and ideas. I have unmedicated A.D.D (before it became popular. I know, it's hipster of me) so my mind is all over the place, which can be both a blessing and a curse.
I digress.
My senior year at West Salem High School, I was seeing a freshman by the name of Stephanie. She was odd, but interested me. She was also the only girl who was interested in me at that point. We were in choir together, and were very excited to be going on a choir trip to Disney World in Florida.
This was my first time leaving the state like this (other than Minnesota, but if you're in Wisconsin, Minnesota and Iowa don't count) Florida was amazing. I had my camera, and I was ready to capture every moment and I was stoked to be going to the home of my favorite animated movies. We stopped at Cocoa Beach before going anywhere, and while in the ocean, the rival I mentioned earlier, thought it would be funny to kick sand into my camera, and because of that, I had no camera, and no money to replace it or even buy a disposable.
One day, at Disney World, I was in a group with some friends, and my girlfriend at the time. We had just gotten out of Drew Carey's 4-D Adventure. Stephanie pulled me aside and said she had something to tell me. It was this moment, in the happiest place on earth, that she decided that I was "too old" for her, and wanted to end our relationship.
Then, I broke the rules and went off on my own. After sobbing in the bathroom for a few moments, I came out by Disney's Animation Studios, and saw a tour was just about to start. I needed a pick-me-up, and loved animation my entire life, so I went on the tour and it was amazing. We stopped and talked to one of the animators who had been working on the movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire. He talked about his job and everything it entailed. He did a quick warm up sketch of Mickey Mouse's head before showing us how he drew Milo Thatch. After he was done speaking, the tour moved on, but I stayed behind. I introduced myself to the animator and chatted with him and told him how much I loved animation. He told me Disney was always looking for animators, and if it's something I love, I should do it. I thanked him for his time, and as I started to walk away, he stopped me, and told me that it's against the rules, but he wanted to give me something. He gave me his quick warm up sketch of Mickey Mouse. It was then. THAT VERY MOMENT that I knew. I had a love for animation my whole life, but now I KNEW that this is what I really wanted to do. I didn't want to just be an animator. I wanted to work for Disney. They seemed like a family. They weren't mindless drones. They were fun and happy. I liked that. I think that my Aunt and Uncle also in the back of my mind influenced where I wanted to go.
As I type this, I'm looking at that quick sketch. It's framed and hanging in my office as a reminder of that day.
Life happened. The voice of the person who told me to give up didn't leave me. I wasn't good enough for college. I wasn't good enough for art college. So..I didn't go. I did a number of things that are better left for another blog, because believe me, it was an adventure. But I never stopped drawing, and I never stopped loving animation. The Disney Renaissance was over at this point, but I still enjoyed a lot of the movies that came out (Particularly Lilo and Stitch)
I graduated high school in 2002 and in 2013, over 10 years later, the voice that told me to quit was overridden by my brother DJ, my Aunt Doris, and My wife, who told me that I CAN. Of course, by now, I was 30, and thinking I was too old to do anything, and I hadn't taken any college tests in high school, but my brother told me "You're never too old to do what you were meant to do." So I enrolled in Western Technical College's Graphic Design Program. It wasn't animation, but this wasn't meant to be my career. It was meant to get me back into the swing of school so I could continue my education, and follow my dream. Unfortunately, I had to work a lot, and didn't get as much experience as I'd like, but It was still school, and I was proud of myself.
Last spring, after my wife Graduated, she decided to check out UW-Stout to continue her education. It was then that she discovered that I could major in animation at Stout. I was so nervous about applying. I was 30, not that good, no formal training in art and drawing..but lo-and behold, I was accepted. I dropped Graphic Design like a hot potato and started on the path to the future I knew I wanted since that fateful day at Disney World.
Now, School has started. I don't mean to knock Western, because it was a great stepping stone for me, but for me, now that I've started Stout, Western seemed more like the education I should have gotten in High School, and now I'm in college. Everyone is so friendly here and supportive and open minded. It's amazing. My teachers are great, but strict, and I can tell they're going to be hard on me, and that's good. That's what I need. If I really want to follow my dream, I can't just get educated. I need to put in that extra work, the extra time. I need to take the time to research my favorite animators and projects and find out what makes them tick. I need to draw outside of classes and homework. I need to keep going and keep working and bust my ass because that is the ONLY way I will go anywhere.
My whole life I've settled for the minimum. I've accepted I won't go anywhere or do anything. I've become complacent. I've become lazy. I've become a dreamer and not a doer. But now? I feel like I've gotten a shot, and I'm going to make a lot of changes. I don't have endless time to follow my dream. But if I make the most out of the time I have now, I just may do something with it.
That's what this blog is going to be. My journey. My story. My troubles and triumphs. blogging is going to help me get out what I want to say and what I feel. So follow me. Read my blog. I certainly want to see if I land where I'm aiming, and I hope you want to see that too.
No comments:
Post a Comment